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The Doctor
The Oncoming Storm
23rd-May-2009 03:34 pm
Well Too Bad
Okay, Andy and T, you're done. I have been walking along this beach all night long, and you can't have been going the entire time. If you like, I'm sure you can find the fixings for sex on a beach in the TARDIS.

Cross your fingers, everybody. Hopefully the TARDIS will fly correctly more than twice in a row...
23rd-May-2009 07:56 pm (UTC)
The TARDIS has Peach schnapps and condoms?

What doesn't it have?
23rd-May-2009 07:57 pm (UTC)
Black lights. Well at least at didn't during my last visit.
24th-May-2009 12:36 am (UTC)
She knows my preferences!

I'm sure there would be plenty of Wife Swap and crisps in a drawer if you and Rhys stopped by.
24th-May-2009 12:40 am (UTC)

We have those at home.

The thing we like about going to Barcelona is the weird shampoo in the hotels and the foreign soaps on the telly.

24th-May-2009 12:56 am (UTC)
24th-May-2009 12:58 am (UTC)
*shares a truffle* They're foreign!

24th-May-2009 01:01 am (UTC)
Wait until you see Planet Barcelona.

It's even more foreign!
24th-May-2009 01:08 am (UTC)
Do they speak thsexily there?

24th-May-2009 01:19 am (UTC)
24th-May-2009 01:26 am (UTC)

Me gusta.
24th-May-2009 02:16 am (UTC)
I see what you did there Gwen ;) . Yo veo que tu haces a ja Gwen.

Te gustas esta idioma. Muy interesante.

24th-May-2009 02:19 am (UTC)
The babelfish isn't so great, huh?

Well, I tried. I had Welsh in school.

I'm going to read things off the hotel shampoo bottles next. :o)
24th-May-2009 02:25 am (UTC)
Actually you were doing just fine. My spelling is atrocious as is my conjugation.

Wait. *blinks* Wait you and....are in...alone...

Oh I REALLY see what you did there! :). Sorry didn't mean to interrupt the relaxation process. *gives a box of truffles and chocolate covered strawberries and promptly leaves*
24th-May-2009 01:58 am (UTC)
WAIT, what? When are you and Gwen going to Barcelona? How long will you be gone? Is this Torchwood Business? Who's going to be in charge?

(Please say Not John Hart)
24th-May-2009 02:21 am (UTC)
If I'm going, you're going!

I'll be like that time we went to CERN!
24th-May-2009 03:35 pm (UTC)
I don't want to have a near-death experience in/on Barcelona, though. Just so that's clear.
24th-May-2009 04:22 pm (UTC)
We will forgo the "Atomic Sangria", then, I.

Those nearly did Rhys in last hol!
24th-May-2009 02:24 am (UTC)
Don't worry Ianto, I'd never take off on Bareclonian Torchwood business without bringing you along. You look even better in a bikini than Gwen after all!
24th-May-2009 02:35 am (UTC)
Hmmph. I may just stay back at the Hub and wear my bikini in seclusion, then.

Do a bit of redecorating. Clear out some of the clutter.

What's this thing? Coral? Looks like a bubblegum sculpture to me.
24th-May-2009 02:37 am (UTC)

HEY hey

DON'T TOUCH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's nothing, it's not important.
24th-May-2009 02:39 am (UTC)
It... feels funny.

You can keep it.
24th-May-2009 02:40 am (UTC)
I'm going to need a few minutes to reflect while I clutch it to my chest.

Is this how you feel when I go through your purse? Like something filthy touched something precious????
24th-May-2009 02:44 am (UTC)
No, that's how I feel when Hart tries to stick his fingers in my off-limits pocket.

Filthy?I? I washed my hands after dinner. :o(

24th-May-2009 02:47 am (UTC)
I only meant filthy in that way that all 21st century humans are, Gwen. You can't help it! You don't even have sonic showers yet. You haven't felt truly clean until you've been vibrated clean.
24th-May-2009 02:54 am (UTC)
Oh. Well. That makes sense, then. My toothbrush is sonic!

You can never have enough vibrating personal hygiene appliances, IMO.
24th-May-2009 03:33 pm (UTC)
You say that, but you've never seen Jack's collection of "massagers".
24th-May-2009 04:23 pm (UTC)
He has a bad back?

Since when do immortals get sore muscles?
24th-May-2009 04:39 pm (UTC)
It does happen, especially when one must take inches off their height.

Say Master Jones, does Harkness still have that metallic massager that sounds like a dreadful steam engine? I'd really like it back as he stole it from me.
24th-May-2009 04:52 pm (UTC)
They're not really used much for soreness. Occasionally they even cause it!
24th-May-2009 08:13 pm (UTC)
24th-May-2009 06:53 pm (UTC)
Pretty much nothing. It's been around for ages and everyone inevitably ends up bringing in more things than they take away. Physically speaking, of course.
23rd-May-2009 08:05 pm (UTC)
So you are doing domestic. Sorry to hear that dear fellow.

Bones and I have had a bit of concern about the Rift energy as well as something somewhat dubious.

Pray what does Moriarty know about mummification? Bones stumbled upon a mummy in a rubbermaid container earlier this week, that she had not encountered in her lab before.

We both had a look at it and weren't entirely sure what to make of it. Everything looked human and checked to be human, but Bones still felt uncomfortable about as did I. My sixth telepathic sense just didn't feel proper so we promptly took it to Torchwood for further testing which could not be done in the premises of an academic lab.

I do not believe in coincidences, as you know, and this "mummy" appeared when Rift levels began spiking. Hopefully, Dr. Jones will return our query soon.
24th-May-2009 03:06 am (UTC)
Damn! So THAT'S where I left the specimen. Sorry.

LOL! I kid. I'm on the TARDIS. And I'm from far too advanced a time to rely on Rubbermaid.

Oooh, Andy, look! I found a simulated beach hut and a bottle of peach schnapps.

Mind the bidet. (Doctor, what is with this bidet? Would you like IT mindwiped?)
24th-May-2009 04:29 pm (UTC)
Ha ha ha. Funny T. You may want to have a look at if you have "access" to CCTV in the hub. It is rather disturbing and it does have a FOB watch.

I find the concept of Rubbermaid appalling personally. Although it does hold deceased individuals rather nicely, no leakage as I've observed in my work with the Yard.

I assure you that bidets do come in handy. There is nothing as pleasant as the feel....well then enjoy your travels.
24th-May-2009 05:09 pm (UTC)
Siggy, are you sure that's a Gallifreyan fob watch? If it is, I may request that you courier it to us for safekeeping. It'll be perfectly safe. In Jabba's digestive tract.

I'm not speaking of just any bidet. I'm speaking of one that has four legs and walks. I think it's hostile. I have no idea where the Doctor got it but it's certainly hazardous. I thought it was restricted to the wardrobe but I was mistaken.
24th-May-2009 07:02 pm (UTC)
It is confined to the wardrobe, I just missed it.

Where are you?
24th-May-2009 07:44 pm (UTC)
At the moment I'm at the front door of the TARDIS, heaving a rock emblazoned with "Next time listen to the Welshman" at a black leather clad Jack Harkness for reasons known only to Ianto and me. And probably to you as well as two-thirds of the Time Agency. The bidet was in the beach hut room but it ran away the moment it realized I was looking at it.

The anti-grav plates were surly to it. I'd apologize on their behalf if the bidet hadn't made its intentions so unclear.
25th-May-2009 03:40 am (UTC)
Okay, we'll get that done after this storm is over.
24th-May-2009 07:07 pm (UTC)
I think we can stick that firmly under spoilers.
24th-May-2009 07:32 pm (UTC)
Doc, we may have to unspoil you on this. We can do the mind wipe afterward. Let's face it. The time lines have gone all wonky ever since that multiverse breakdown. If its something Martha (or myself) has never seen and Holmes is intensely furrowing his brow about and smoking like a chimney, I'm concerned. Besides, hypothetically its "dead" Donna, does that count? Although I don't think its dead...whatever it is.

Something isn't right. You know it, Holmes knows it, I know it, Martha knows it, and Torchwood...well...at least Ianto knows it.

When things go wonky like this, time lines don't count because they get recreated according to Holmes. If worse comes to worse, we'll have Myke telepathically hold it all together until the matter is cleared up. This really doesn't bode well.

Can we do that or am I being too hopeful? Or is it like crossing the streams?
25th-May-2009 03:36 am (UTC)
I'm afraid of that energy collection field. You don't collect that much particulate without wanting to use it for something, and the more timelines cross the more energy is genrated for them to collect. Until we can get conclusive evidence of anything- or really, just something of a hunch we can act upon- I'm trying to avoid that. Not that there's much that can happen since I'm in Calcutta three hundred years from when you'll be reading this.
25th-May-2009 04:59 am (UTC)
You're not the only one concerned about the collection field. The mummy tests, I call it that so it isn't spoilerish, are flags for concern and Holmes is extremely worried. You know very well he won't admit it. Its quite troublesome, the whole matter. I'm really at a loss for once. Holmes has telepathically contacted Mycroft. Yeah, that's how worrisome this matter is.

Did I mention I'm worried?
24th-May-2009 06:55 pm (UTC)
I am not doing domestic! It'd just be generaly bad to leave them stranded on am island, tropical or not.
24th-May-2009 10:31 pm (UTC)
And for that I am greatful. and sad. Let's go, the beach-hut is cleared and the TARDIS food trunk is back and everything is time appropriate.

T, hold my hand a sec as I look at the sunset for a minute? Or would you like help chasing the comedy bidet...

Actually, stuff the sunset it's civilisation again...YAY! I'll go that way and follow you...
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