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The Doctor
The Oncoming Storm
This is why you shouldn't procrastinate 
19th-Jun-2009 03:58 pm
terrfied
Well, after several weeks of holding the Dilgar on behalf of the Shadow Proclamation, they seem to have gotten tired of waiting and come for him themselves.

Unfortunately, they seem to think that I'm guilty of holding him hostage and are intent upon capturing me. Andy went to go back and check in with the Heddlu and T is obviously stuck in the TARDIS with the Dilgar. I should probably get them to take him while they're here, but I don't much like the idea of them taking me- or getting their hands on the TARDIS. Can one of you grab the Dilgar and escort him into the path of the Judoon? You should have no trouble finding them, they'll be the rhinos with big guns.

UPDATE: T! Jack's coming to pick up the Dilgar! He says to leave him outside tied-up and he'll take it from there!
Comments 
19th-Jun-2009 09:04 pm (UTC)
So the shouting rhinos on the telly aren't a nightmare?

Bugger.

As soon as I find my shoes I can...uh...okay I have to find my...feet...first...

Doctor, I suspect you will need to rely on T. Or possibly Jack. Maybe Max. Martha's sick and I'm comatose. Gwen might have had so much caffeine she is now invisible to the naked eye (from vibration).

Sorry. :(

Edited at 2009-06-19 09:07 pm (UTC)
19th-Jun-2009 09:08 pm (UTC)
Oh, sorry to hear that. I don't suppose you have any sort of remote system that will change the traffic lights in my favor or something? They're pretty fanatical about traffic laws.
19th-Jun-2009 09:18 pm (UTC)
Have you got a mobile? Text GREEN to my number and then follow the automated instructions.

You may have to press 1 for Yes a lot.

Otherwise erm...borrow a mobile? Commandeer, I guess. Shout TORCHWOOD if they object!
19th-Jun-2009 09:22 pm (UTC)
I already have- that's how I'm communicating! I didn't shout TORCHWOOD at her though, I think the Judoon following me distracted her from it well enough.
19th-Jun-2009 09:33 pm (UTC)
Exactly how long will I be pressing 1 for?
19th-Jun-2009 10:02 pm (UTC)
That depends on how many green lights you need.

Don't forget to press # at the end! Otherwise it'll take you back to the start.

Sorry, I had to hack a BT code to set it up. They're...not known for their efficiency.
20th-Jun-2009 01:09 am (UTC)
Fantastic. That's just what I need.
19th-Jun-2009 09:05 pm (UTC)
I

FUCKING

LOVE

ESCORTING PEOPLE (TO EXECUTION)
19th-Jun-2009 09:05 pm (UTC)
I'm on this like a Creature on a Boeshan, Doctor!
19th-Jun-2009 09:07 pm (UTC)
Tell T that our paths better not cross.

She can leave the Dilgar tied up with a note like Spiderman does when he leaves criminals for the Shadow Proclamation.
19th-Jun-2009 09:13 pm (UTC)
I'll do that! Right after I get myself out of the mensware section of this department store.
19th-Jun-2009 11:37 pm (UTC)
Ooh, would you mind picking up some socks for Rhys?

Are you at Debenhams?
19th-Jun-2009 09:10 pm (UTC)
Rhinos. With guns.

Can we ever have a normal Friday? EVER?
19th-Jun-2009 09:11 pm (UTC)
You love it.

You'll never get sick of following me (into danger).
19th-Jun-2009 09:18 pm (UTC)
I guess not!

You go first! :o)
19th-Jun-2009 09:14 pm (UTC)
This is a normal Friday! Isn't it fantastic?
19th-Jun-2009 09:19 pm (UTC)
Ummm.

Well, it beats Friday at Heddlu, where we catch up on paperwork and the roach coach van brings the sandwiches which didn't sell earlier in the week.

So. Okay, Doctor. Yes, better.
19th-Jun-2009 09:24 pm (UTC)
Much better!

So, are you really invisible, or was Ianto being sarcastic?
19th-Jun-2009 09:28 pm (UTC)
Invisible?

19th-Jun-2009 09:32 pm (UTC)
Ianto told me that you were unavailable for help because you had drank too much caffiene and were now vibrating so ,uch that you were invisible to the naked eye. I was sure he was being sarcastic about something, bit I wasn't sure if it was your caffiene intake or being invisible he was being sarcastic about. I'm using a T-Mobile mobile, and everything you type is being narrated to me in Catherine Zeta Jones' voice. Sarcasm isn't coming across too strongly.
19th-Jun-2009 09:38 pm (UTC)
Yes, I think Ianto was being sarcastic.

I know, it's weird for him!



Catherine Zeta Jones, huh?
19th-Jun-2009 09:42 pm (UTC)
Yes. I think that's part of the reason why so many people are staring. I suppose even in Cardiff you don't normally see people running down the street with Catherine Zeta Jones' voice coming out of his trousers and a pack of Judoon following him a bit too closely.

Just out of curiousity, is there any part of this city in which scanners would have trouble working?
19th-Jun-2009 10:19 pm (UTC)
2 kilometer radius around Tosh's flat.

We can't figure out how to turn off her force-field.
19th-Jun-2009 10:29 pm (UTC)
USE THE TOSHIKOFORCE, DOCTOR.
20th-Jun-2009 01:10 am (UTC)
You've mentioned Toshiko before, but I don't think you ever told me where she lived!
20th-Jun-2009 01:37 am (UTC)
Wow. How would I know where she lived? I don't notice things like home addresses or lesbian aliens until they wind up in my Hub.
20th-Jun-2009 01:53 am (UTC)
Well, ask Ianto then, because I've been running for the better part of the evening now I need a semi-secure place to jiggery-poke for a few seconds.

It's either you tell me where the forcefield is, or I end up getting caught by the Judoon. Somehow, I don't think I'm supposed to be caught by the Judoon at this juncture.
20th-Jun-2009 01:55 am (UTC)
Following you on satellite now, Doctor. You don't half-make crazy patterns when you run.

Two hundred meters ahead and then a sharp left past the post box. There's a pub down the street called the Dungeon And Dragon's Arms, it's well within the forcefield. Tosh loved it, try the Shepherd's Pie.
20th-Jun-2009 02:01 am (UTC)
Toshiko loved pubs? Wow!
20th-Jun-2009 03:07 am (UTC)
It's pretty much the oldest rule in the book of evasive action: never run in a straight line.

It's also fairly crowded! That's fantastic! Now all I need is a urinal and I'm all set to make my escape.
20th-Jun-2009 04:34 pm (UTC)
Doctor? Doctor? Did you get out all right?

Did you try the shepherd's pie?
20th-Jun-2009 07:11 pm (UTC)
Well, they're no longer chasing me, that's something.

I don't think I'll be eating anything of their's tonight, however.
20th-Jun-2009 07:15 pm (UTC)
Oh, for the love of -- are the pub owners aliens too?
20th-Jun-2009 07:18 pm (UTC)
No. I just exploded the men's room into the kitchen.
20th-Jun-2009 07:20 pm (UTC)
Oh.

I presume Heddlu are probably on their way, but I'll make sure the local health officials come round at some point too.

They needed a remodel anyway...
20th-Jun-2009 02:01 am (UTC)
Jesus! Sounds serious.

Let me pull up the interactive map of Cardiff we use for finding old cinemas ...

According to this, Toshiko lives one block west of The Electro, three blocks south of The Grand.

It's the condo block across the street from Cineworld!
19th-Jun-2009 09:24 pm (UTC)
Hmmmm? Wha? Cold medicine. Sleeping now. Jack and Gwen, very brave, they'll see to it.

Sleeping now. Soup later.
19th-Jun-2009 09:25 pm (UTC)
Feel better soon! (Hope you weren't fond of Herod's.)
19th-Jun-2009 10:07 pm (UTC)
He's out there and tied. Well tied. I'd say hog tied but don't want to sound speciest.

Sadly, the best material I could find to tie him was my purple garter belt. Jack, you can keep it but it is not your color, nor Ianto's. It's more Martha's if anyone's. It's unused. Really. That's why the purple and not the pink.

He put up a bit of a fight but the sight of my secret weapon stopped him in his tracks.
19th-Jun-2009 10:27 pm (UTC)
First of all

1) You're fucking right I'm keeping this garter.

2) Don't tell me what my colours are. I know my colours!

3) Poor Dilgar perked up when he saw me stride manfully towards him.

Was this rescue!? is what he was thinking.

I LOLed in his face as I jammed my webley against his temple.

"Think again, sucker!" I hissed. "I'm your worst nightmare!"

Then I pulled photos from my wallet to show him how close I am to the Shadow Proclamation.

"Here's me and the Proclamation Subcommittee Chair, Marisa. This is me and Lord High Executioner Trevor. Ah this one is Ianto in a bubble bath - private!"
20th-Jun-2009 01:11 am (UTC)
Yes. That's very nice.

THROW HIM IN FRONT OF THE JUDOON!
20th-Jun-2009 01:31 am (UTC)
NO PROBLEM, DOCTOR!
20th-Jun-2009 01:48 am (UTC)
FANTASTIC!
21st-Jun-2009 07:33 pm (UTC)
You do know he takes things like that literally, right? Because he literally threw the Dilgar in front of the rampaging Judoon. It was enormously funny. Thanks, Ianto, for the CCTV feed. It's not often you get to see the Judoon tripping all over one another AND a well trussed Dilgar. (Jack, what did you replace my garter belt with? It looks like...oh, dear, it looks like a jock strap meant for a Judoon. Where did you get that and, more importantly, has it been laundered?)
22nd-Jun-2009 10:08 pm (UTC)
Dear god, launder it... or dump it safely!
22nd-Jun-2009 10:49 pm (UTC)
It wasn't THROWN so much as shoved repeatedly in one direction. To throw a Dilgar I'd really need a fork-lift to get me some leverage off the ground!

PS: If by laundered you mean: "is it clean?" the answer is no.
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