The Doctor

My Life As A Sock Puppet

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 20:51:29 GMT

So, way, way back in April I became a sock puppet. As you'll probably guess if you go back and read my journal, I had been following askworld for a while, and created this identity ever more way back in March. I was waiting for the right moment to spring upon the other socks, partially because I was nervous (the Doctor isn't, strictly speaking, a Torchwood character, but he is one people would recognize, so I worried about pushing the boundaries too far and not screwing up the character completely) and partially because I knew that my intro was going to be time consuming. I think I decided on the day because I had no early classes, and sent out the email to Rhys the night before.

I still ended up being a bit late. It was so worth it, though.

I decided on the pre-Rose 9th Doctor for two reasons A) I didn't think I had it in me to explain where Rose was and why she wasn't with me and B) the 9th Doctor is my doctor. He's fantastic! Plus, we could have timey-wimey hi-jinks that way. The introduction post was... harrowing. I don't think anyone was quite sure how to play my appearance, since normally in Torchwood the Doctor is merely the elephant in the room, as opposed to a slightly depressed, angry and visible persona, who wanted his TARDIS back now, kthanxbai. Oh, and you couldn't talk to him abot pretty much anything that wasn't Classic Canon, or he'd flip out about spoilers. All things considered, he didn't really fit, since technically he didn't know anyone who was playing at the time.

But as the old saying goes, on the Internet no one can see you naked. If things didn't work out, I could go right back to being a civilian without too much trouble and very little wounded pride. Thankfully, though, the tactic of defeating aliens with keyfobs and dancing worked fairly well.

The original idea was to hang out in Cardiff, trying to rebuild the TARDIS and figure out why she was being so uncooperative. (The short answer is because it was funny.) There were a few things I wanted to get covered (figuring out that there was a Rift in Cardiff, the baby TARDIS on Jack's desk) but beyond that, it was more like "What strange thing can I do to myself and Torchwood today? How about an attack bidet?" It quickly became apparent that there wasn't much in the way of organization, which was fine by me. I love improv!

It wasn't long, though, before I felt the need to go out and roam the universe, because as we all know, the universe ends when the Doctor stops running. I wanted to kidnap someone, but I didn't know who until I ran into Andy. He was very good as the straight man, very down to Earth and logical and coming to all the logical conclusions that were wrong, and so there was a TARDIS gif.

Our early adventures were conducted via one-shot posts, sort of after the fact, but that didn't really give me much leeway to interact with Andy, and I began to post the first part of our adventures, and then make up the rest as we went along. I learned very quickly not to keep any sort of solid expectations, because no one was driving this crack van, and it was so much better that way.

That being said, we began to plan the de-anoning/endgame fairly early on. I was having Real Life Issues, and so thought I'd be dropping out much earlier than I ended up doing (that, and we ended up having the endgame much sooner than we thought we would). But by that point I knew that I'd become the oddball plot generator of the group, and I needed to go out with a bang.

And thus, the Master.

Now, I'm one of those people who, sadly, hasn't very much of a chance to watch Classic Who. Actually, Doctor Who has only been on my radar for roughly a year (I had TARDIS wiki open in another tab pretty much every other post.) So, I understand in theory why Classic Who fans found Simm!Master so unmasterly, but... I have a weakness for OTT villains who destroy the world to soundtracks. I LOVE him. He's crazy!

I began commenting upon my fellow sock's posts under the guise of of_tarminster , who, apparently, everyone thought might be the Master, might just be a n00b. Originally, I had planned to write Doctor/Master fanfiction under that handel, if only to provok more shock when I revealed myself, but it never happened, as did much of the Master's scheming- most of those plans were crush somewhere between sockworld and RL. Since he was going to be around for a short time, we did do some planning for the LOLbattle. I do, however, take complete and utter credit for River Song. Until proven otherwise, my personal canon is that she's a fobwatched Master.

When it came to playing off the other socks, Ianto, and Martha were the easiest to banter with. Communicating with Andy was made more difficult by the fact that he and I are several time zones removed from one another, I loved having a hand in creating the backstory for QEII, T was amazingly professional when it came to being a TARDIS companion, I really enjoyed doing slapstick with Hart, Gwen and Rhys I didn't have as much contact with as I would have liked, and I never could get interacting with Jack right. The two of them have a complicated relationship at the best of times, and I didn't know how to parody it, other than ducking out on fixing his wrist strap for him.

When it came to the one-shot socks, I wish that Donna had hung around more, I would have loved to see more of Suzie, and I want to know who was Stephen Colbert, because right now I've deluded myself that he was played by "Stephen Colbert", and I know that if that were true we would have heard something by now. I never got to meet Myfanwy, which is a shame because I think I might be able to pronounce her name now.

When it comes to me, myself, I'm not going to put my RL internet name out there. I'm still writing other stuff in various fandoms under it, and since this will easily be the biggest thing I do in any fandom, I don't want this overshadowing anything- or inviting people to wank on it. But, this is the most fun I've ever had, and I am so friending all of you who have de-anoned.

To No One's Surprise...

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 01:06:01 GMT

I am of_tarminster.

I'll also be over at Jack's Q&A, but I'll be replying to comments here as well.

If you had fun with askworld, please visit http://www.myrednoseday.com/askcaptainjack to make a donation. Comic Relief supports projects in Africa and in the UK and is a really great charity. £1 is a meal for a homeless person. £5 pays for a child's school uniform. This year David Tennant and Catherine Tate participated in the funny. We're trying to raise £50 in total.

We're down to the last wire now.

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 00:11:06 GMT

So if you've got anything to say, now's the time to say it. (T, I think you had a message for me from you-know-who?)

As for me: for all that this is going to be a part of my life more or less permanently blocked from my mind, it was fantastic. You are all fantastic. I'll be meeting you all up later, when I'm supposed to, and that's fantastic too.

All good things...

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 02:18:23 GMT

Well, actually, I'm not entirely sure if this qualified as a "good" thing, per say, but there was an element of fantasticness to it.

We've arrived in the 52nd century, and are now trying to get to the mindwipe without alerting Jabba the Boss to our (read: my) presence. Which is...

Actually, the fact that he just exploded all over us probably helps with that. But somehow, I think the alarms are summoning guards won't be helpful at all. Run!

This is why you shouldn't procrastinate

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 20:54:25 GMT

Well, after several weeks of holding the Dilgar on behalf of the Shadow Proclamation, they seem to have gotten tired of waiting and come for him themselves.

Unfortunately, they seem to think that I'm guilty of holding him hostage and are intent upon capturing me. Andy went to go back and check in with the Heddlu and T is obviously stuck in the TARDIS with the Dilgar. I should probably get them to take him while they're here, but I don't much like the idea of them taking me- or getting their hands on the TARDIS. Can one of you grab the Dilgar and escort him into the path of the Judoon? You should have no trouble finding them, they'll be the rhinos with big guns.

UPDATE: T! Jack's coming to pick up the Dilgar! He says to leave him outside tied-up and he'll take it from there!

Wow...

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 00:33:33 GMT

Next time I ask you for a map to trouble I'll have to keep in mind that you're a very thorough person, Ianto. I'd tell you all about it but I'm not sure where or when to start.

Being back in Cardiff

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 00:53:53 GMT

...Is really, really strange. For one thing, it almost feels like I'm back somewhere, which in addition to being strange is a bit frightening. I don't do domestic. It makes me break out in hives. For another, we never did pinpoint who was stealing Rift energy.

I'm going out for a walk. Don't mind me.

After a little bit of tinkering...

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 16:28:20 GMT

The phone was originally a Nokia N96, but has since been modified so heavily that only the shell remain of the original hardware. While most of the functions pertained solely to the facility we just crashed, it does still work as a mobile, and a little snooping revealed that the speed dail contained the numbers for UNIT, MI5, Downing Street, and MoD facilities. There were several pictures saved in it as well, but they were mostly of teletubbies. So, I'm forced to conclude that I don't know what to conclude; I'll just keep the phone with me, maybe the original owner will call.

The pack of holding is now empty, except for the tag, which reads "Bad Wolf Products, wash with like colors."

In other news, aiming for Cardiff has actually landed us in Cardiff. Present day Cardiff, even! We're in time for movie night and/or the Children of Time party. (Jack, can't T get some sort of diplomatic immunity as my companion so she can go?) I tried to tell Andy and T this, but all I got in reply was a lot of thumping. Between the two of them and the Tardis not listening to me, I feel almost surplus to requirements.

The caller you are trying to reach...

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 23:31:22 GMT

I've tapped into... but the controls... sealed, so no... poke. I need something... bulbous. Tulips, perhaps.

Anyway, I've tried... there should... lift coming up. Signal should... you get... What bothers... cluster isn't based in... disengenuous technology.. very bad. They seem to... other planets, including Earth... humans... Vinegar. We may... after all. I don't like it.

I'm going to wait for... lift. Andy, I need... message gets through.

It's easy to... Fantastic.

Huh.

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 20:30:03 GMT

Most of the Stolians in this caravan are refugees escaping persecution- by which I mean cyborgs. That probably helped give us away. Or maybe it was the anti-grav boards. Or possibly the Darth Vader jokes.

Anyway, we all got picked up by what passes for law enforcement here (again) and were bundled into a transport shuttle headed off to parts unknown. After a bit of fancy footwork with the sonic screwdriver and a rather fantastic bit of lateral thinking involving some paneling we managed to switch places with our guards. The shuttle itself is on autopilot (even guards don't seem to know where we're going, although they have done this before so I don't think we'll be vaporized upon impact) so the only thing to do seems to be to wait until we arrive and see what happens.

Hopefully, it'll happen before the Children of Time Party. If not, we may fudge a little with the time lines.

You're wrong, T.

Sun, 31 May 2009 19:27:06 GMT

They do have police here! And they do do things! They were very efficient when it came to arresting me, at least.

This prison isn't nearly as nice as the one the laser rugby teams came from, so I'll be escaping soon. But if I don't show up in a few hours, you know where to find me.

Well.

Fri, 29 May 2009 00:39:50 GMT

Not Cardiff. Not Egypt, ancient or otherwise. However...

I'm excited! This is my first time visiting during this time period.

Aw, hell

Tue, 26 May 2009 21:14:26 GMT

This was the view around the time when the humans dozed off:

This is the view now:

There was a secondary wave this morning right before breakfast, but I'm hoping that by this time tomorrow the water will be well and truly receded. The TARDIS should be where we left it; the only problem will be digging it out from under the wreckage.

Thus far...

Sun, 24 May 2009 19:15:24 GMT

Andy, T and I have been to mid 1900's Cardiff, late 7800's Remora, and are now in early 2300's Calcutta. I've come to the conclusion that the TARDIS has decided that it needs to be wet for a while. I've left it outside, and we're now wandering around the floating parts of the city eating Bad Wolf Burger (just don't ask what's in it). I'll let you know how things progress some hours later.

Edit: We won't be going outside for a while...

Edit: I've tsunami-proofed the segment of city we're in, and am talking others through the process now. Even so, this is likely going to be rough (and finding the TARDIS afterwards is going to be harder). I'll catch you up later.

Fanastic.

Sat, 23 May 2009 19:50:24 GMT

Okay, Andy and T, you're done. I have been walking along this beach all night long, and you can't have been going the entire time. If you like, I'm sure you can find the fixings for sex on a beach in the TARDIS.

Cross your fingers, everybody. Hopefully the TARDIS will fly correctly more than twice in a row...

There's something fishy in Cardiff

Fri, 22 May 2009 18:43:18 GMT

And it isn't from the Bay. However, I'm a bit busy making sure T and Andy don't murder each other. Just... be extra careful about creating paradoxes and the like, okay? Fantastic.

~~This better not be the Master, because if it is the Master then it's likely a Master I am not supposed to meet yet, and anything I do will just give him more fuel.~~

In case you were wondering...

Fri, 22 May 2009 03:58:06 GMT

I apologize for being seemingly absent, but you wouldn't believe the amount of running involved in sealing a multiuniversal breach, and texting is a difficult mode of communication when your other options include telepathy. Also, every other comment would have been "STOP COPULATING!" Bloody Torchwood. Where's Martha/Martin to yell "Condoms!" when you need her/him?

Nobody better have gotten pregnant. I cannot handle that, short although my involvement is bound to be.

Anyway, after some minor complications, the Rift has been sealed, and everything's more or less back to normal.

First off all, I think that if you channel your erm, excess energies into this, they'll be discharged into this.

Look, as far as the other thing goes, I've got my ups and downs (my last low point was right after the rugby disaster). I don't think I'd ever go through with it so much as it looks like an attractive option every now and again. And Gallifrey wasn't... well, it's complicated. I don't think it was as doomed as you think it was, and even then that isn't justification for mass murder. If nothing else, I'd like to remember having more than two friends of the same species as me who didn't end up power-mad.

So, how is Mycroft anyway?

Also, I think I'll be picking up Andy and T some time tomorrow.

It could be worse.

Thu, 21 May 2009 18:31:35 GMT

On that note, it is now raining in Cardiff. Color me surprised.

So, she says that we need to get Boy Hart to throw up on the Potentiallity Device so they can go home, and then we can seal off the breach without causing a paradox.

I'm bored.

Thu, 21 May 2009 03:41:05 GMT

Very bored.

T and Andy are enjoy their enforced tropical getaway. I really should have seen that coming- this isn't the first time Companions of mine have fallen for each other, and they were falling before I met either of them. Still, I'll probably pick them up before too long. If I leave them alone with each other for too long they won't have any choice but to hate each other.

Maybe I'll pick up Alan Ginsburg on the way. After I stop by Cardiff to see what I look like as a female.

Martha, I can see you on his flist!

Tue, 19 May 2009 17:26:02 GMT

Martha, it’s Donna. I’m borrowing Big Ears’ blog to check out his story. I’m in Istanbul or Constantinople or whatever, and the Doctor and I were in this bazaar and we got separated. And I thought, “Oh, it’s no big deal, I can find the TARDIS again no problem at all and if the Doctor get’s into trouble I’ll hear the screaming” and so I finish my shopping, get chased by men with swords, run back the TARDIS, and there’s this Northern guy mucking about with the controls. He claims he’s the Doctor before I met him! What’s all this about?

Aloha

Sun, 17 May 2009 03:15:08 GMT

Lots of interesting things about Hawaii: for example, it was settled by Polynesians just before 300 BCE. Polynesians were some of the first terraformers, bringing “canoe plants” which provided whatever medical, ceremonial, edible and malleable supplies they needed. Often times these plants wiped out the native life, which is certainly the case in the Hawaiian archipelago.

In case you were wondering, the islands were beautiful before they were introduced to coconut and giant bamboo. They also had some great waves. Nobody around to provide much of anything, but, really, do you think I don’t have surfboards on the TARDIS?

The problem is that the TARDIS and I are no longer on Kauai with T and Andy. This is a problem, for Andy and T, because as much as there are worse places to be stranded than a desert island, they are still stranded. This is a bigger problem for me, because I’m currently in Constantinople (not Istanbul) and the TARDIS has shut down completely. Not lights, no responsiveness, not so much as a peep out of her. Oh, and I can feel a future me wandering around. I’ve locked the door mechanically, and am going to stop any outgoing messages for a while. Hopefully, I’ll be able to slip under my radar, and if I’m traveling with someone they won’t confuse this TARDIS for the one they’re traveling in.

We're here!

Tue, 12 May 2009 17:34:15 GMT

Well, we've made it to the correct time, at least. Where would you like to be picked up, T?

Here's the plan

Sun, 10 May 2009 19:40:15 GMT

Andy, we're off to the 52nd century, and this time we aren't stopping until we get there. Unless someone needs saving or the universe is going to end or something, but given our recent adventure I think we're due for a break. We'll pick up T, and then I'll drop you both off in Abergavenny for your romantic getaway. The Dilgar and I will take a trip to the Shadow Proclamation, and then I'll pick you up whenever you like. Then we'll go back to the 52nd for my mindwipe. Andy, I'm afraid you'll probably act as a trigger, so you're either going to have to stay behind in Abergavenny or T will have to find a way to get you back to your native place and time; from what I've seen, the latter shouldn't be too difficult.

Torchwood- I've got three Sea Devils here. Do have facilities, or should I take them with me? Or call UNIT? I know you're in the middle of something of an upswing in Rift activity, but when one of you gets the chance drop me a line...

I did a little reading last night

Fri, 08 May 2009 05:04:21 GMT

As it turns out, my mistake was giving that man with the water scooter his freedom. Fairly peaceful political prisoner he may be, but his husband? Not really. It's that guy who made the oddly shaped explosion I showed you a picture of in my last post. He incited panic among the prisoners and guards alike; those who had come into contact with either Rima or myself decided to direct the panic against the guards, who then alerted other guards, and from there things just spiraled out of control. A lockdown was initiated, storm troopers and riot police were sent in, and panicked people trampled each other to death, suffocated, or were shot by trigger-happy soldiers. The Cnapan Prison Riots ended with a total of 164,034 survivors out of a population of roughly 5 million.

Fantastic.

Andy is fine. I'm as fine as I ever was. There seems to have been a slight miscommunication between us: I had assumed he was on the purple prison island, he had been thinking I was referring to the color of his jersey. I did spend an awful lot of time trying to get to the purple island, but I don't see how not doing so would have prevented anything. And for what it's worth, the area he was in was the last to be swept up by the riots and the first to calm down- they had to lowest casualty rates. I'm not sure if that was Andy's doing or just plain luck, but it's something, at least.

Needless to say, I really want that mindwipe right about now. I don't even care if they're done calibrating, I want it done with. Unfortunately, I'm back in 21st century Cardiff. We're in the Harwood's Haulage office; Andy's gone to return his books and I'm shutting myself in the TARDIS for a day or so until to urge to sonic screwdrive my own head open recedes a bit. Feel free to stop by.

Some days, I really hate myself.

Cnapan

Thu, 07 May 2009 15:29:10 GMT

Well, we've overshot a bit, and ended up in the early 53rd instead of the early 52nd. However, we don't appear to be leaving anything soon, as we've come across 53rd century rugby. You'd like it Jack; it involves a lot of laser guns shooting people in the face.

Andy stopped being enthralled with rugby after people started dying en mass, so we're going to try figuring out what happened to the sport. I'll probably give you an update from inside a prison cell or something.

Currently, though, we are here:

Update! Now, we're here:

The good news is, as far a prisons go, this one is easily the best I've ever been in. The bad news is, turns out this is where the rugby players come from. As far as I can tell, they were originally POWs; now that the war is over, it's everyone from shoplifters on up. The worse news is, I think Andy and I might have ended up on separate teams. And the really incredible part is that they actually expect me to fire a laser gun at people...

I think I'll go incite a rebellion. I haven't done one of those in ages!

Update! Now look what we're doing:

Apparently, the other islands have hydrofoil scooters. Guess who nearly fell off his laughing at me?

Andy seems to be handling this all fantastically.

Update! I picked up another friend:

Her name is Rima, and she's an undercover reporter looking to expose corruption in the prison system. In other news, Andy and I were back in contact briefly, and the moment I figure out which back he's talking about we'll start making our way towards the front. On a hydrofoil scooter! The laughing guy pictured above Rima traded me it in exchange for my disabling his tracking device.

Update:

How did you even- who did you end up with? One of the original prisoners? Someone who used to smuggle fireworks?

Well, as far as distractions go, it's a good one. I think the Evil Henchmen have let off. The prisoners are all rebelling without me, and Rima's transmitting her story now. Just make sure you're out of the way of any potential stampedes.

Update: They've officially called in the shock troops.

Andy, I'm making my way back to the TARDIS. Find a place to keep your head down, I'll find you. Don't wander off. Don't attract anyone's attention. ~~And don't die. I'm tired of losing people! Also, I promised...~~

I've found Andy. Rima has elected to stay behind and seal herself in one of the escape pods rather than come with. Good luck to her: that wasn't a rebellion we just lived through, it was a massacre.